Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #3

Modified: Category: Twitter Timewarp Tuesday Tags: , , , , , , , , , Comments: 0

Hey, it’s that thing with the old tweets and the Jello Pudding. Heh. Heh. Heh.

Sometimes, I wear armour because I like the way it looks on me. It’s not an invitation for every ruffian and barbarian to challenge me to to a duel. Yeah, you’ve got yourself a big enchanted mithril sword. Good for you. I don’t care. JEEZ.

Seriously, I only own t-shirts and jeans. I don’t like have to go through all that coordinating jazz in the morning.

I want to start a band with a stupid hipster movie reference name.

HAAAAMMMMMM…

Chicago-style pizza is unnecessary thick. No human being should consume that much cheese in one sitting.

Chicago does this crazy thing where they deck-out one of their L trains in Christmas light and other tacky decorations. It also pulls along Santa in a sleigh that’s totally open to the elements, which I don’t think is very safe.

I did find the Chicago Holiday Train. It was actually raining that day. Poor Santa Claus was soaked.

Narutomaki are traditionally made up of ground-up fish…

Chicago was hit with a huge snowstorm. People in Chicago apparently think that junk food makes for good emergency supplies.

I think that I’m clever at wordplay.

Well, that all for this week. We are getting closer and closer to being caught up to the present.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #2

Modified: Category: Twitter Timewarp Tuesday Tags: , , , , Comments: 0

Hey kids! It’s time for another Twitter Timewarp Tuesday! These come from the days my infamous Maharishi phase.

We can put bacon in mayonnaise but we can’t perfect the bird teeth cleaning technology that crocodiles have had for centuries?

Seriously, you never have to close a door behind you at any other point in the game and there is nothing that indicates that this particular door is special and needs to be closed.

My favourite Myst games was Myst III: Exile, because it was the only one where the puzzles made any sense and it’s probably important to note that it was developed by Presto Studios, who also developed The Journeyman Project series (which I also loved), and not Cyan. Myst III: Exile makes me a bit sad though, because they didn’t developer Journeyman Project 4 because of it.

It also annoys me that Marine Dr. in Chicago runs alongside a lake.

I’m allergic to grass and I think that it looks horribly bland.

I think it’s only necessary to call something “fruity”, if it doesn’t already have the name of an actual fruit in the title.

Did you know that a lot of lipsticks use ground-up fish scales to make them sparkle or shimmer?

My nemesis thinks that he’s got me be, little does he know that I’ve got another trick up my sleeve.

I’m really sad that the vikings never really wore those horned helmets. If I could, I’d rearrange history to fit my preconceived visions of it.

Remember those weird tiny spoons that McDonalds used to have? They were supposed to be used to stir coffee, but, apparently people mostly used them to do bumps of cocaine, as they were the perfect size for it.

This my favourite quote from Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge.

Well, that’s all for this week. Maybe there will be more next week or maybe there won’t be. I like to play things fast and loose.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #1

Modified: Category: Twitter Timewarp Tuesday Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Comments: 0

I was going through my Twitter archive, which meant scrolling down for, like, half an hour, because Twitter timelines can only be viewed in infinite scroll mode and not proper paginated archives like any non-crazy person would like. (I’m thinking of writing an article about how much I hate infinite scroll, one day.)

So, anyway, if I went through all that trouble scrolling, you’re going to have to relive some of my favourite old tweets with me.

This is my first ever tweet! I like Swedish Chef!

I think I was listening to The John Tesh Radio Show, and he did a a public service announcement about the dangers of huffing. If you’re a kid and you’re listening to The John Tesh Radio Show, I think that huffing freon is the least of your worries.

Sometimes, I wonder if Alexander Dumas even knew what a “musketeer” really was. Seriously, why were the three musketeers always using swords? It’s their job to use guns!

Yeah, that’s right, I say “pop” instead of “soda”.

They used to kill-off characters way more often in shows when I was a kid. I’d like to see them kill-off someone in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or SheZow, or whatever all these weirdo kids are watching these days. What in the world is a “Bakugan” anyway? I hate you.

Seriously, The Sims, no virtual baby of mine should drink formula.

In The Sims Medieval, breastfeeding was the only option, BUT they blurred it out like it was offensive or something, bleh. I think they should have included the option for the noble sims to use a wet nurse.

Is it a rule that, when you work your way up to captain, that you’ve earned the right to look cooler than everyone else?

This is probably me getting angry at some saying that synthetic things are full of “toxins”. Eat some nightshade why don’t you and then extoll the virtues of how free of “toxins” the natural world is.

Yeah, do hand models ever get plastic surgery to make their hands look younger? At what age do hand models usually get pushed out of the business?

It was standard procedure in our house, that when you bought a new game on floppy disk, that you made back-ups of it. An errant magnetic field could wipe-out your originals, after all.

Well, that’s all for this week’s Twitter Timewarp Tuesday. Join me next week, where we’ll relive more inane things that I’ve posted that nobody cares about.

Weird Stuff on My New Composition Book

Category: Personal Tags: , Comments: 0

I got two new composition books today and one of them has this written on it in tiny print:

COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL INTERVENTIONS HAVE ALSO BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE A

ACHIEVEMENT. INTERVENTIONS SUCH AS SELF-INSTRUCTIONAL

IN LOOKING AT PROBANDS OF PARENTS, BIEDERMAN ET AL. (1993) ALSO
CONCLUDE ADHD AND LEARNING DISABILITIES ARE INDEPENDENT, AND
RATHER DUE TO RANDOM MATING, THEREFORE NOT ETIOLOGICALLY
DEPENDENT. OTHER RESEARCHERS CLAIM THE INTELLECTUAL DEFICIT LIES
IN PHYSIOLOGICAL ANOMALIES. MORE SPECIFICALLY, IMBALANCE IN THE

IN LOOKING AT PROBANDS OF PARENTS, BIEDERMAN ET AL. (1993) ALSO
CONCLUDE ADHD AND LEARNING DISABILITIES ARE INDEPENDENT, AND

IN LOOKING AT PROBANDS OF PARENTS, BIEDERMAN ET AL. (1993) ALSO
CONCLUDE ADHD AND LEARNING DISABILITIES ARE INDEPENDENT, AND

So, yeah, my new notebook has bits of a paper on learning disabilities hidden in the art. That’s… special.

The Internet is Dead

Category: Internet Nonsense Tags: , , , , Comments: 0

Oi! Didn’t you hear? The internet is DEAD! All of its organs failed one by one.

Herein lies the sad timeline of the internet’s decline and demise:

BBSes are dead because nobody uses DOS anymore, grandpa. Also, when you want to go to a different BBS, you have to enter in a different number and wait for it to connect? Nuts to that jazz!

Legend of the Red Dragon is fun though…

Newsgroups are dead because giant of ASCII art signatures. Wow, you spent 3 days making a 100 line picture of Jean-Luc Picard out of commas and semi-colons? End every one of your messages with it!

Forums are dead because, really, forums are just newsgroups with an ugly backgrounds and annoying author avatars. Yes, I really think that the portrait that embodies you best is an animated .gif of an arch vile from DOOM. Plus, who wants to spend their time moderating a bunch of idiots?

Chatrooms are dead because of perverts.

Blogs are dead because the posts are too long and all the kids with the ADHD are too impatient to read them. Also, they update too infrequently. Today’s culture demands instant gratification.

Social networks are dead because everyone’s mom and boss has a profile now and it isn’t fun anymore. Nobody wants to interact in a place where all their actions will be under intense scrutiny.

Twitter is dead because of those goddamn hashtags. Also, everyone has updates from every service that they belong to funneled into Twitter. Nobody cares that you just favourited a video on Youtube or that you liked something on Facebook. Stop cluttering-up the feed with your inane noise!

Tumblr is dead because it’s horrible. Really, Tumblr should have been DOA, in my opinion. There are some absolutely stupid bits of Tumblr. The most egregious of which is that 4 out of the 7 posts types have no way for you to set a proper post title for them. Search engines and aggregators need titles to function properly!

Other things I dislike about Tumblr:

  • There is no way to generate a list of all the tags you’ve use and their URLs, making it hard to construct tag archives
  • Tumblr only keeps tacks of up to 200 posts with a certain tag, when you tag more than that the older posts start getting dropped from that tag’s archive
  • There is no way to style your archives
  • When a person likes one of your posts, they get a link in your post’s notes to their Tumblr, but you only get a link back from their Tumblr if they have decided to display their likes in their theme. This has created a culture of users liking everything that they see in order to generate a zillion backlinks for themselves, while suffering no consequences.

Anyway, go have a look at my Tumblr: tumblr.laurelgreen.com

Pinterest is dead because 99.99% of the content on Pinterest is stolen. I dislike that in our current culture that people seem to derive the same sense of achievement from finding great content as one would normally get from creating great content. Finding a bunch of beautiful paintings does not make you an artist, reposting other people’s delicious recipes does not make you a chef, and removing watermarks and origin URLs does not make that content yours. If you have the time to search through the internet to find 300 photos of organic freetrade purple felted wool hats, then you have the time to create something of your own to share with the world.

 

A strange thing, though, that despite being dead, all of these services are still used actively by many people. Maybe people should be more worried about which venue bests serves their particular audience, rather than caring about what’s the newest, coolest thing. The newest thing will be dead soon enough anyway.

Thing-A-Day 2013 Day 28: Weird Dog Doodle

Modified: Category: Thing-A-Day 2013 Tags: , , Comments: 1
a cruddy looking dog drawing
*WOOF*

Well, here is my last thing for Thing-A-Day 2013, and it’s a cruddy-looking dog doodle.

I’ve gotten a little burnt-out at the end here.

Anyway, if you’ve missed any of my past things, here they are:

Or, you can just check out my Thing-A-Day 2013 category.