Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #24

I’ma keep doing this until you like it.

Can someone tell me how the Hell Friendster metamorphosized into an Asian gaming website?

It’s only $0.88.

Lousy Polar Vortex…

I should have just paid for a plow or some neighbour kid to take care of it.

The snowbank was about 6 feet high. I was worried he was going to break his neck.

It Canada, our celebrity albino groundhog died unexpectedly just before Groundhog day, so they tried to pass an new groundhog off as the old one, but people could tell the difference. It was quite the controversy. Canada is adorable.

My grandfather had his first heart attack in his 30s. I probably shouldn’t do things like this.

A group of crows is called a “murder”. This a fact that people constantly feel the need to inform be of, as if I didn’t already learn it as a small child. I read books once and a while, you know.

There has to be a better way!

Why does every can opener break in the middle of the night, when I only have soup in the house and I can’t go out to get more food?

 

And now I shall return to my evil deeds!

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #23

I think that I have obsessive compulsive disorder.

Remember the Hell that was 2015?

…What?

…Who?

Remember that creepy Pregnant Barbie?

Skipper isn’t even a name.

I like my Kens blond and dumb as a post.

It’s “brunet”, but I prefer to say “brunbro”.

My fighting clothes are dangerous eye irritants.

The house that I grew up in didn’t even have a doorbell.

I are good at cooking!

 

Blargh bloog bloop!