Scrapers Can Eat a Butt

So I was Googling myself (shameful, I know) and a lot of the main keywords that I thought my website would rank highly actually had scrapers that had stolen my content as the top result.

a drawing of a paint scraper
This is the wrong kind of scraper.

Don’t know what a “scraper” is? Well, it’s basically an automated website that copies wholesale the content from other webpages. In my case, they probably copy my stuff directly from my RSS feed as soon as it updates.

What disturbs me is how often these types of sites are showing up as the top result in search results. Either Google‘s algorithm has gone janky, or lots of people are linking to these websites. If people are linking to them a lot, I blame those damn tumblr and Pinterest bookmarklets, because they’ve made it so that people don’t even think before they link to a bad source. People just share content that they like and they don’t ever think about the people who created it.

Of course, I know I’ve shared things without checking before, so I probably shouldn’t complain too much.

So, if you ever wonder why I sign and watermark everything, it’s because thievery has become automated and it’s impossible to reason with a Chinese robot.

Snowpocalypse Snowmageddon Snownarok

It snowed a lot.

a drawing of a person and a dog covered in snow

Like, it totally snowed everywhere, man. It snowed in the streets. It snowed on the roofs. It snowed in the fields.

How can our government allow this?

How can we hope to live normal lives when we’re constantly besieged from all sides by frozen water?



The roads got covered in snow. We should put all the roads underground, where they’ll be safe.



I have broken all my furniture down into kindling. When the snow comes for me, I’ll be ready for it.

What if the road to the Walmart gets closed? Where will I get the energy drinks that I need to survive!?

My feet were cold. I had to wear two sets of socks.

Wear a hat? But. But. But. HAT HAIR!

My dog was buried in the snow. I suppose I will see him again in the Spring.

Black ice. White ice. Can’t all the ice just get along?

I had to use a shovel to dig my way out. Manual labour in this day and age? The can make bacon mayonnaise technology, but they can’t give me snow-shovelling robot?

I look silly in these snow pants.


Your Broken Image is a Crime Against Humanity

It’s there in your sidebar, the bane of my existence, the broken image.

an image of a broken image

It’s been broken for months. You must have noticed it by now. You’ve been posting regularly this whole time.

an image of a broken image

I send you a polite message detailing this broken image issue and its impact on me. You tell me that you are well aware of the problem, but you just haven’t found the time to fix it.

You haven’t found the time to fix it!?

It’s one line of code that you have to fix. ONE. LINE. OF. CODE.

an image of a broken image

Can I fix it for you?

an image of a broken image

Really, you’re just taunting me now.

an image of a broken image

You are the Internet Adversary. Your presence on the Net heralds the End Times. You tear asunder the Holy Code with your Fangs of Borkening.

an image of a broken image


Names You Can Call My Dog

His given name is Tibet, but, as he has travelled throughout this great land setting right what once went wrong, my dog has picked up many nicknames.

a drawing of laurel's shih tzu dog
Tibet wouldn’t stay still, so this colouration is all wrong.

Here are some names my legendary dog goes by:

  • Snorf Snarf
  • The Poopster
  • The Floofster
  • The Woofster
  • The Poopmeister General
  • Mr. Dogs
  • Mr. Dog Pants
  • Mr. Poop Dogs
  • Dogly Dogovitch
  • Mr. Moustache Man
  • Mr. Moustache Pants
  • Mr. Mustard Sausage
  • Mr. Sausage Pants
  • Pork Chop Pants
  • The Dog Bear
  • Mr. Bears
  • Dogtonio Banderas
  • The Floofetty Fluff
  • The Floof-Dog
  • The Goof-Dog
  • Scoobs
  • The Butt
  • Tiny