Eric J. is a million feet tall. He put the stars in the sky.
Eric J. controls the weather.
Eric J. can never find his glasses, but he can will some new ones into existence.
Eric J. has finish every crossword puzzle conceivable.
Eric J. is kind to animals, even abominations created in a mad scientist’s lab.
Eric J. invented a new flavour.
Eric J. is the new sound.
Eric J. can fly under his own power.
Eric J. can see all possible futures.
Eric J. caught a foul ball at the Yankees game.
Eric J. can breathe the bubbles in pop.
Eric J. has never lost a sock.
Eric J. fought God and won.
Eric J. met Cher and ate her.
Eric J. had a thousand wives who were all cats.
Eric J. went to the moon twice.
Eric J. has his own island.
Eric J. can live on bread alone.
Eric J. has five arms.
Eric J. is a self-made mad, literally.
Eric J. can survive in a vacuum.
Eric J. has the highest power level.
Eric J. plays three guitars at once.
Eric J.’s uncle works for Nintendo.
Eric J. laid down his sword.
Eric J. is a Borg.
Eric J. has an infinite capacity for love.
Eric J. sunk the Titanic.
Eric J. prevented World War 3.
Eric J. is the best at every video game.
Eric J. can even.
Eric J. can swallow time.
Eric J. has the shiniest shoes.
Eric J. saved Christmas.
Eric J. fed the hungry, with his own milk.
Eric J. has seen the entire internet.
Eric J. can desalinate water with his magic tears.
Eric J. is a unicorn.
Eric J. is the girl next door.
Eric J. has ten opposable digits.
Eric J. can do anything, except spell his name with a “k”.