Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #33

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TWIBS!

Why does my name cause people so much trouble? I mean, it’s a word in the English language, even.

Have you ever even seen Sam Rockwell and Dax Shepard in the same room? I’m not convinced that they aren’t the same person.

YouTube: where you can see absolutely everything unboxed.

I like it when it suggests the hammer and sickle. Communism is awesome.

Abe Vigoda: the only human who was 94 for 70 consecutive years.

I also swallow gum. I’m a rebel.

It reached 47°C. I died several times. I don’t think that white people belong in Tucson, especially not ones as pale as me.

One day, I will be rich to travel around in tour bus. One day.

The sign outside of O’Hare International Airport says, “We have such sights to show you.”

I ended up not killing anybody. People should really thank me for every day that I don’t end up killing them.

 

 

GLORF!

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #14

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I like backing up my tweets here, because my website is way less annoying that Twitter. Infinite scroll my ass.

I’m still pissed off about this. Tweetdeck was my favourite Twitter app. It was lightweight, fast and it didn’t have any stupid nonsense like sponsored posts. The only app I get madder about is the death of Google Reader.

Seriously, it can’t be sanitary to be wiping something imbued with rotten meat chunks all over a cup.

Then again, I can’t understand many southern American accents.

Does everyone’s mom count as a monster?

Just stop putting rotten fruit in everything. It just makes things horrible.

Comic Serif does exist. I have gazed upon its hideousness.

Enjoy your forever sleep, kiddoes.

Can somebody for the 80s please explain this to me? Trapper Keepers just seem to over-complicate everything.

I picked the spoon up and the bowl came with it.

If you know what this is a reference to, you win one entire internet.

 

Done for now.

“Eric Conveys an Emotion” is Going to Update! Just You Wait and See!

Category: Internet Nonsense Tags: , , , , Comments: 0

Here’s a small confession of mine: I check on several long-dead websites, which I enjoyed way back when, with alarming frequency, even though I’m almost entirely sure that they will never update ever again.

The problem is that many people don’t seem to leave goodbye posts. It’s just business as usual, until things stop abruptly. There’s so many webcomics, that I used to follow that just stopped in the middle of a storyline without explanation. I’m pretty sure that these people didn’t die suddenly, but I guess in a way part of them did. One day they just stopped, writing, drawing, singing etc. and never started up again.

Or maybe they just got tired of sharing their talents with the internet. I can understand that. The internet is stupid.

Maybe they found a more productive use of their time.

In any case, there’s always this hope inside me. They didn’t really give up. They’re just in hibernation. They’re lying in wait. They’ll be back and they’ll be better. Otherwise, why would they keep paying for their domain names and hosting? Huh? I’ll keep checking. One day my faith will be rewarded with more of what I used to enjoy. I’m greedy, I guess.

The internet is littered with the corpses of a billion dead projects and once in a while I like to prod them with a stick to see if they twitch. (Ick.)

Anyway, go bug Emotion Eric and tell him his dead website is causing me existential malaise.

I think that I’m going to rewrite this later. I can’t really get my thoughts straight on this subject at the moment. Also, I’m missing a bunch of commas.

Scrapers Can Eat a Butt

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So I was Googling myself (shameful, I know) and a lot of the main keywords that I thought my website would rank highly actually had scrapers that had stolen my content as the top result.

a drawing of a paint scraper
This is the wrong kind of scraper.

Don’t know what a “scraper” is? Well, it’s basically an automated website that copies wholesale the content from other webpages. In my case, they probably copy my stuff directly from my RSS feed as soon as it updates.

What disturbs me is how often these types of sites are showing up as the top result in search results. Either Google‘s algorithm has gone janky, or lots of people are linking to these websites. If people are linking to them a lot, I blame those damn tumblr and Pinterest bookmarklets, because they’ve made it so that people don’t even think before they link to a bad source. People just share content that they like and they don’t ever think about the people who created it.

Of course, I know I’ve shared things without checking before, so I probably shouldn’t complain too much.

So, if you ever wonder why I sign and watermark everything, it’s because thievery has become automated and it’s impossible to reason with a Chinese robot.

Your Broken Image is a Crime Against Humanity

Category: Internet Nonsense Tags: , , Comments: 0

It’s there in your sidebar, the bane of my existence, the broken image.

an image of a broken image

It’s been broken for months. You must have noticed it by now. You’ve been posting regularly this whole time.

an image of a broken image

I send you a polite message detailing this broken image issue and its impact on me. You tell me that you are well aware of the problem, but you just haven’t found the time to fix it.

You haven’t found the time to fix it!?

It’s one line of code that you have to fix. ONE. LINE. OF. CODE.

an image of a broken image

Can I fix it for you?

an image of a broken image

Really, you’re just taunting me now.

an image of a broken image

You are the Internet Adversary. Your presence on the Net heralds the End Times. You tear asunder the Holy Code with your Fangs of Borkening.

an image of a broken image

AaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaHHHHHHH!!!!!

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #5

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I’m busy messing around with website backend junk, so you only get one old tweet today and it’s THE BEST TWEET EVER!

Seriously, I was trying to better myself by learning something new, and I know a lot of guitar nerds, but no one could give me a good recommendation for an awesome double guitar. Sometimes I doubt the rock credentials of some of these people. JEEZ.