- I’m Lazy
- Y’all Ain’t Paying Me Anything
- They’re Watching Me
- My Fingers Are Broken
- I’ve Outsourced My Writing to India
- Everything that Can be Said has Been Said
- I Only Know Unspeakable Words
- Packets Keep Being Lost
- In Too Busy Saving the world
- The World is About to End
- Writing is Dead
- There are Gremlins in the Machine
- I Can’t Find a Pen
- Shia LaBeouf Keeps Plagiarising Me
- All Week be Destroyed by the Passage of Time
- Why Write when I Can Dance?
- I’m Too Busy Eating
- You Don’t Have to Write a Script Before You Start Shooting the Film Nowadays
- I’ve Decided to Start Communicating Via Telepathy
- Only the Squirrels Really Understand Me
- You can Already Read My Mind
- My Ghostwriter has been Ressurected
- Nobody has an Attention Span Anymore
People were all like, “Donair is so good! You’ve got to try the donair”.
So, I get some frozen donair egg rolls from the grocery store, and it’s like bland sliced roast beef with no sauce inside the rolls, very boring. I take it that this isn’t how donair egg rolls are really supposed to be. The egg roll part wasn’t particularly good either. I’m not sure what kind of quality i was expecting from frozen food, but I’m still disappointed.
I think that I’m mostly mad at the egg roll part not being very good. The only Chinese food place in town went out of business and every Chinese food thing that I get from the grocery store is disappointing.
I keep trying to make egg fried rice, but I’m very bad at it. My timing is always off. I can never get it fried just that perfect amount. And restaurants must be adding some special ingredient to the eggs, because mine never taste like theirs. I’ve bought some MSG in an attempt to try and make my Chinese cookery more authentic, but I have no idea how to use MSG, so that may not have been the best idea. I should probably try to find some sesame oil as well, but I don’t think that they sell any around here. I could order some online, but it’s always a crapshoot with liquids whether they arrive broken and leaking everywhere.
Maybe I could get my food helicoptered in. Is there a billionaire out there who would like to send me meals every day via helicopter? That sounds like a fun rich guy thing to do. You should do it.
So I was Googling myself (shameful, I know) and a lot of the main keywords that I thought my website would rank highly actually had scrapers that had stolen my content as the top result.
Don’t know what a “scraper” is? Well, it’s basically an automated website that copies wholesale the content from other webpages. In my case, they probably copy my stuff directly from my RSS feed as soon as it updates.
What disturbs me is how often these types of sites are showing up as the top result in search results. Either Google‘s algorithm has gone janky, or lots of people are linking to these websites. If people are linking to them a lot, I blame those damn tumblr and Pinterest bookmarklets, because they’ve made it so that people don’t even think before they link to a bad source. People just share content that they like and they don’t ever think about the people who created it.
Of course, I know I’ve shared things without checking before, so I probably shouldn’t complain too much.
So, if you ever wonder why I sign and watermark everything, it’s because thievery has become automated and it’s impossible to reason with a Chinese robot.