Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #2

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Hey kids! It’s time for another Twitter Timewarp Tuesday! These come from the days my infamous Maharishi phase.

We can put bacon in mayonnaise but we can’t perfect the bird teeth cleaning technology that crocodiles have had for centuries?

Seriously, you never have to close a door behind you at any other point in the game and there is nothing that indicates that this particular door is special and needs to be closed.

My favourite Myst games was Myst III: Exile, because it was the only one where the puzzles made any sense and it’s probably important to note that it was developed by Presto Studios, who also developed The Journeyman Project series (which I also loved), and not Cyan. Myst III: Exile makes me a bit sad though, because they didn’t developer Journeyman Project 4 because of it.

It also annoys me that Marine Dr. in Chicago runs alongside a lake.

I’m allergic to grass and I think that it looks horribly bland.

I think it’s only necessary to call something “fruity”, if it doesn’t already have the name of an actual fruit in the title.

Did you know that a lot of lipsticks use ground-up fish scales to make them sparkle or shimmer?

My nemesis thinks that he’s got me be, little does he know that I’ve got another trick up my sleeve.

I’m really sad that the vikings never really wore those horned helmets. If I could, I’d rearrange history to fit my preconceived visions of it.

Remember those weird tiny spoons that McDonalds used to have? They were supposed to be used to stir coffee, but, apparently people mostly used them to do bumps of cocaine, as they were the perfect size for it.

This my favourite quote from Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge.

Well, that’s all for this week. Maybe there will be more next week or maybe there won’t be. I like to play things fast and loose.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #1

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I was going through my Twitter archive, which meant scrolling down for, like, half an hour, because Twitter timelines can only be viewed in infinite scroll mode and not proper paginated archives like any non-crazy person would like. (I’m thinking of writing an article about how much I hate infinite scroll, one day.)

So, anyway, if I went through all that trouble scrolling, you’re going to have to relive some of my favourite old tweets with me.

This is my first ever tweet! I like Swedish Chef!

I think I was listening to The John Tesh Radio Show, and he did a a public service announcement about the dangers of huffing. If you’re a kid and you’re listening to The John Tesh Radio Show, I think that huffing freon is the least of your worries.

Sometimes, I wonder if Alexander Dumas even knew what a “musketeer” really was. Seriously, why were the three musketeers always using swords? It’s their job to use guns!

Yeah, that’s right, I say “pop” instead of “soda”.

They used to kill-off characters way more often in shows when I was a kid. I’d like to see them kill-off someone in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or SheZow, or whatever all these weirdo kids are watching these days. What in the world is a “Bakugan” anyway? I hate you.

Seriously, The Sims, no virtual baby of mine should drink formula.

In The Sims Medieval, breastfeeding was the only option, BUT they blurred it out like it was offensive or something, bleh. I think they should have included the option for the noble sims to use a wet nurse.

Is it a rule that, when you work your way up to captain, that you’ve earned the right to look cooler than everyone else?

This is probably me getting angry at some saying that synthetic things are full of “toxins”. Eat some nightshade why don’t you and then extoll the virtues of how free of “toxins” the natural world is.

Yeah, do hand models ever get plastic surgery to make their hands look younger? At what age do hand models usually get pushed out of the business?

It was standard procedure in our house, that when you bought a new game on floppy disk, that you made back-ups of it. An errant magnetic field could wipe-out your originals, after all.

Well, that’s all for this week’s Twitter Timewarp Tuesday. Join me next week, where we’ll relive more inane things that I’ve posted that nobody cares about.