Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #21

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Sure, posting my favourite old tweets is stupid and pointless, but I’m bored, so whatever.

I DON’T KNOW HOW ECONOMICS WORKS!

I just can’t resist weird beverages.

It’s true. When mixed with orange pop, cucumber vodka tastes like a madarin salad.

Did you know that it’s actually impossible to create a Tumblr theme that’s 100% valid html? Seriously, just the Like button itself is full of errors.

…what?

It’s the world’s most important subject.

My ancestors belonged to a proud warrior race.

And I’m not just saying that because I can’t whistle properly.

I’m a regular ole mixologist and junk.

Jugs take up so much room in the garbage. I hate them so much.

 

 

I may see you again. I may not. Who knows in these dark days?

20 Litres and a Pound of Butter up a Hill

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So I go to the store and I get myself 8 bottles of pop, a jug of milk and stick of butter. The checkout girl and the manager were all like, “Are you sure that you don’t want any help with that?” and I was all like, “Nah, I got this.”

And so, I grabbed all my bags, waltzed on out of the store and carried it all up the steep hill to the house.

My refusal to give in to the convenience of a granny cart has resulted in the formation of giant scary muscles in my arms.

I’m going to use my awesome muscles to punch stuff and commit supervillanry.

This Energy Drink is Doing Nothing for Me

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I drank all 473 mL of this energy drink jazz and I ain’t got any more energy than I had a few minutes ago.

I think this might be a crock.

What are taurine and guarana anyway?

So very, very tired. Woke up at 6AM, don’t ya know.

Maybe I should just take up drinking coffee. Buy me some $10 dirty boot water from the Starbucks.

I wish that I was capable of photosynthesis. Wouldn’t help me much right now, seeing as it’s night and all. I could get a sun lamp though.

I bought some energy gum one time at a gas station in the United States. It gave me a rapid heart beat. It also tasted horrible. You can buy a lot of weird stuff in gas stations.

Sleepy.

I hear that trepanation can give you more energy. I should try that. Where’s my drill?

I rest my eyes and then it will be all over.

I dreamt about two giant red beetles creaking all over my room the other night. I hope that doesn’t happen again.