- Pears
- Scarabs
- Water
- Orange Juice
- Dolphins
- Bort
- Moon Rocks
- Chapstick
- Antimatter
- Diamonds
- Moisturizer
- Space Junk
- Ivory
- Abstract Concepts
- Fire
- Teeth
- Knives
- Music
- Broccoli
- Rain
- Pills
- Watches
- Roller Skates
- Colours
- Gourds
- Nail Clippers
- Sparkles
- Tiaras
- Sand
- Coins
- Darkness
- Eyeballs
Real Donairs are Better than Frozen Ones
Here is a bit of an update to the whole donair egg roll thing.
I went to one of the local restaurants here and got myself a donair platter and it was quite good. It was spicy shaved kebab meat, cheese and tomatoes on a pita, in many ways very similar to a gyro. The big difference is that donair sauce is sweet, whereas tzatziki, which often come with gyros, is tangy. The meat was spicier and less greasy than that in the frozen donair egg rolls, much better.
As a bit of an aside, the first restaurant we went to was actually closed, they haven’t posted their off-season hours online. What kind of restaurant closes at 7PM anyway?
Why I Don’t Wanna Write
- I’m Lazy
- Y’all Ain’t Paying Me Anything
- They’re Watching Me
- My Fingers Are Broken
- I’ve Outsourced My Writing to India
- Everything that Can be Said has Been Said
- I Only Know Unspeakable Words
- Packets Keep Being Lost
- In Too Busy Saving the world
- The World is About to End
- Writing is Dead
- There are Gremlins in the Machine
- I Can’t Find a Pen
- Shia LaBeouf Keeps Plagiarising Me
- All Week be Destroyed by the Passage of Time
- Why Write when I Can Dance?
- I’m Too Busy Eating
- You Don’t Have to Write a Script Before You Start Shooting the Film Nowadays
- I’ve Decided to Start Communicating Via Telepathy
- Only the Squirrels Really Understand Me
- You can Already Read My Mind
- My Ghostwriter has been Ressurected
- Nobody has an Attention Span Anymore
Gnomes I Have Met
- Shorty Dewbubble King of the Eastern Field Mice
- Grathport Shamberdert Champion of the Acorn Knights
- Ariana Finepebble Princess Elect of the Amphibious Pipsqueaks
- Nathan of the Fairpetals
- Chodesworth Cobblespurt the Butt-Gnome
- Ivy Wallcrawler the Wall-Gnome
- Seline the Crawlspace Dweller
- Peter Dinklage
- Thumbhigh Johnson
- George the Pea
- Lily the Orifice Spelunker
- Teeny Tina
- Jane Caterpillar Rider
- Beans McMinuscule
- Mighty Mite
- Pinky Who Lives in My Teapot
- Jenny the Slight
- Pocket Weasel
- Smallie Bigs
Things They Should Make Movies About
- Brian Pepper’s Life Story
- The Jos. Louis Story
- Journey to the Centre of the Tootsie Roll Pop
- Macho Man Randy Savage Saves Guy Fawkes Day
- A Movie About the Ferengi from Star Trek
- A Movie About Barclay from Star Trek
- A Movie About Barkley from Sesame Street
- Sam Rockwell and Dax Shepard Team Up to Confuse Me
- That Damn Sequel to The Dark Crystal
- A Musical About Squirrel Girl
- Jeff Goldblum and Christopher Walken Drop Acid
- MC Hammer VS Army of Darkness
- Kittens that are Murderers
I Made a Really Tasty Chicken Today
Oh, yeah, it was the best chicken what I ever did cook. I finally got the amount of the time in the slow cooker and under the broiler right.
And you can’t have any of it.
My chicken. MINE.
I ate most of it with carrots. You can’t have any of my carrots either.
I will probably eat the rest of the chicken tomorrow in a sandwich.
I like cooking chickens and I will continue coking chickens throughout most of my life. You will not be able to stop me.
I saw a chicken that could play tic-tac-toe at the fair once. I would even cook and eat a talented chicken such as that. I do not discriminate between chickens. All will see the inside of my belly.
What’s that thing where you only eat fish? An episcopalian? I’m like that, but with poultry. Oh, just looked it up and it’s a pollotarian. The internet is great. I could have gone my whole life without earning that, but I looked it up instantly on the internet. The future is now.
I wonder if you could teach that tic-tac-toe chicken to use the internet. It would probably spend all its time looking up pictures of cloacae.
Why did the chicken cross the information superhighway?